Start with Our Diamond Quiz
Rule #1: Engagement Rings Should Be a Secret
Traditionally, the engagement ring is kept secret until the moment of the proposal. Many couples today, however, choose to shop for engagement rings together. This approach ensures that the ring reflects the preferences and style of the person who will wear it. Some even design custom rings as a joint project to create a one-of-a-kind style. By involving both partners in the process, the ring becomes a shared symbol of commitment, chosen with mutual love and thoughtful consideration.
Rule #2: Men Purchase the Engagement Ring
The historical expectation is that men purchase the engagement ring, often without financial input from their partner. Today, many couples prefer to share financial responsibilities. Partners can either contribute equally to the cost of the ring or decide on a budget together. This cooperative approach can alleviate stress and ensure that the ring chosen is a meaningful and financially sound decision.
Rule #3: Engagement Rings Should Cost 3 Months' Salary
The guideline that engagement rings should cost three months' salary is increasingly seen as outdated. Couples should decide on a budget that is comfortable for their financial situation. The focus should be on finding a ring that symbolizes their love without causing financial strain.
Rule #4: Men Must Propose
Though men have historically been the ones to present the engagement ring, this is no longer a strict expectation. In modern relationships, anyone can propose, regardless of gender. The key is the expression of love and the intention to spend a lifetime together. Breaking this rule allows for a more inclusive and equal approach to engagements, where both partners can take an active role.
Engagement Ring Choices
Rule #5: Engagement Rings Should Have a Diamond Center Stone
Diamonds have long been the traditional center stone for engagement rings, but they are not the only option. Many couples now opt for alternative gemstones such as sapphires, emeralds, or even non-traditional stones like moissanite or morganite. Plain bands and gemstone-accented bands with no center stone are also an option.
Rule #6: Bigger Engagement Rings are Always Better
A larger carat weight center stone doesn't guarantee a better ring. Cut quality, setting, and personal style often have a bigger visual impact than carat size alone.
Rule #7: Lab-Grown Diamond Engagement Rings Aren't "Real"
Lab-grown diamonds are chemically and physically identical to natural diamonds. They're real diamonds, not simulants like cubic zirconia — the key differences are origin and price.
Rule #8: Engagement Rings Must Be New
Heirloom and vintage rings are increasingly popular. Some couples choose pre-owned or recycled rings for their character, sustainability, or sentimental value.
Wedding Ring Traditions
Rule #9: The Wedding Ring Must Be Purchased After the Engagement Ring
Traditionally, the wedding ring is purchased after the engagement ring is received. However, some couples choose to buy both rings together to ensure they match perfectly or to take advantage of buying a bridal set. This approach can also simplify the ring selection process, allowing both rings to be a cohesive set from the start.
Rule #10: You Need Both an Engagement Ring and a Wedding Ring
While having both an engagement ring and a wedding ring is customary, some couples opt for just one ring that serves both purposes. This minimalist approach can be practical and cost-effective. A single ring can still hold deep meaning and represent the couple's commitment just as powerfully as two separate rings.
Rule #11: Partners Should Purchase Each Other's Wedding Rings
Traditionally, spouses purchase each other's wedding rings, but this is not a fixed rule. Couples can decide together how to handle this purchase. Some may prefer to buy their own rings, while others might choose to select rings together. The most important aspect is that both partners feel happy and involved in the purchasing process.
Ring Style and Coordination
Rule #12: Engagement Ring and Wedding Ring Gemstones Should Match
Matching gemstones in engagement and wedding rings is traditional but not necessary. Some couples prefer a mix of stones, such as a diamond engagement ring paired with a sapphire wedding band. This allows for greater personalization and can create a unique set that reflects the couple's individual style.
Rule #13: Engagement Rings and Wedding Rings Should Be the Same Metal
Traditionally, both rings are made from the same metal, but they don't have to be. Combining different metals, such as pairing a platinum engagement ring with a gold wedding band, can create a distinctive look. This mix-and-match approach allows for greater flexibility in design and can make each ring stand out on its own.
Rule #14: Partners' Rings Should Match
It's common for couples to choose rings that match in style or design, but there is no requirement for spouses' rings to match exactly. Each partner can choose a ring that reflects their personal style and comfort. This individualism in ring selection respects the unique tastes of both partners while still symbolizing their union.
Wearing Your Rings
Rule #15: Men Don't Wear Engagement Rings
The tradition of women being the sole wearers of engagement rings is fading. Many men now choose to wear an engagement ring as well, symbolizing their commitment to their partners. This practice can help balance the gesture of commitment, making it a shared experience. Additionally, it allows couples to showcase their union and excitement equally throughout the engagement.
Rule #16: Engagement Rings Should Be Worn on the Left-Hand Ring Finger
The traditional placement of the engagement ring is on the left hand's ring finger. This practice originates from an ancient belief that this finger has a vein leading directly to the heart. However, couples can choose any finger or hand to wear their engagement rings. Cultural differences and personal preferences can guide this decision, making it unique to the wearer.
Rule #17: Wedding Rings Should Be Worn on the Left-Hand Ring Finger
Like engagement rings, wedding rings are traditionally worn on the left hand's ring finger. However, there are no strict rules about which finger or hand the wedding ring should be worn on. Cultural practices and personal comfort often influence this decision.
Rule #18: The Ring Can't Be Changed After the Proposal
Many settings are customizable, and some jewelers offer complimentary resizing or trade-ins. It's perfectly acceptable to modify a ring after the proposal if it doesn't quite suit your partner's style or fit.
