How to Secretly Get Ring Size for a Surprise Proposal

Congratulations, you’re finally ready to pop the question! One of the key elements of any proposal is the ring, and determining the correct size can be challenging, especially when you want to maintain an element of surprise. The ideal engagement ring should slide comfortably over the knuckle and rest securely at the base of the finger — neither too loose nor too tight. Below are expert-recommended methods to discreetly determine your partner’s ring size without arousing suspicion. 

1. Borrow a Ring

This classic approach remains the most reliable method for accurately determining your partner’s ring size. Begin by observing which rings your partner wears on their left ring finger, as this provides the most relevant sizing information. When your partner isn’t present, carefully borrow the ring and either:  

• Trace its inner circumference precisely on a piece of paper
• Use a printable ring sizer to measure the borrowed ring directly  

If using the tracing method, take your sample to a professional jeweler who can determine the exact size from your reference.  

2. Enlist Friends or Family Members

Close friends and family members can become valuable allies when you’re trying to find the perfect ring size. Parents, siblings, or best friends may already know your partner’s ring size or can create natural opportunities to discover this information. When recruiting assistance, select people who can maintain discretion and approach the subject naturally. Limit the number of people involved to minimize the risk of accidentally revealing your plans.  

3. Gift a Ring for Another Occasion 

This strategic method requires advance planning but creates an excellent opportunity to determine their size for the future engagement ring. Purchase a less significant ring as a gift for a birthday, anniversary, or “just because” occasion. You can either:  

• Directly ask for their ring size when planning the gift
• Take them jewelry shopping and have them try on various rings alongside other jewelry items to obscure your true intentions  

This approach not only reveals their precise ring size but could also help you understand their jewelry style when it comes time to pick out an engagement ring.   

4. Team Up with an Engaged Friend

If you and your partner are close with someone who is engaged, discreetly ask that engaged friend to let your partner try on their engagement ring. This method will provide:  

• A general size range for reference
• Potential direct disclosure of your partner’s ring size if the friend’s ring doesn’t fit properly
• Valuable insights into your partner’s preferences regarding ring style and design  

This scenario appears completely natural while uncovering important information for your proposal planning. 

5. Get a Temporary Setting 

If the surprise element is becoming stressful or overcomplicated, consider a temporary setting. At Brilliant Earth, you can pick your perfect diamond and pair it with a temporary setting. Then, propose with the temporary ring and make a showroom appointment within 60 days of your initial purchase. Your partner will be able to return the setting at the appointment and choose a new setting of their choice.   

This approach eliminates sizing anxiety while maintaining the emotional impact of presenting a ring during the proposal. It also creates an additional opportunity to share in the selection or customization process as an engaged couple, which many partners appreciate.