Whether it’s for a friend or family member, we have tips for how to write a best man speech. We’ve rounded up everything that goes into an inspiring, entertaining crowd-pleaser: jokes, quotes, themes, opening lines. From icebreakers to start and toasts to finish, here are ideas for your best man speech.
What should a best man speech include?
At the end of the day, you’re just telling your friends you’re happy for them (and the fact that the wedding is all about them should take away some pressure). So when you’re deciding what to include in your best man speech, remember: Humor is memorable, but honesty is meaningful. So aim for a combination and try to hit these key points.
- Personality: You were invited to be yourself, so don’t worry about performing. Are you a treasure trove of charming stories? Are you the calm lighthouse in a storm? Be inclusive and sensitive but be you. Let it flow.
- Examples: Be specific rather than general. Unpack the qualities you admire about the couple and when they’ve occurred (how have they demonstrated kindness or loyalty?). That will make your speech more personable vs. a list that could apply to any couple.
- Gratitude: Say thanks for being chosen as the best man and the chance to stand by their side. Toss in a few thank yous to everyone for attending, those who raised the couple, and those hosting the ceremony. It grabs your listeners, and a little schmoozing never hurts.
How long should a best man speech be?
Like the saying goes, “Be brief, be brilliant, be gone.” A best man speech should always be under 5 minutes, usually three. To keep the attention of your audience, fit it all into 750 words.
Length increases boredom, not sentiment. Trimming your speech down to its essentials means you prioritize quality, which will make your words more impactful and easier to remember. Staying short and sweet can also help with any fears of public speaking because it’ll all be over soon.
How to Write a Best Man Speech
Find a Theme
- What’s your point? What do all your heartfelt details have in common? Commitment? Fun facts? Opposites attract? This will help narrow down your anecdotes. Your theme can also influence how you structure your best man speech, like a unifying metaphor or a rhyming hook to keep it engaging.
- A few themes off the menu: Inside jokes, sabotaging roasts. Basically, anything that’s too obscure or anything that would embarrass or expose the couple. From an audience perspective, these are painful and awkward. You’re honoring the couple for making it down the aisle (a huge success) vs. reminding them of their failures or what could have gotten in the way (emotions can be high). Everyone looks good and feels good when you stick to why the couple’s bond is unbreakable.
Create an Outline
- Congratulations: The easiest intro and the whole reason you’re speaking.
- Connection to the Couple: Did you watch your childhood friend become a better person because of the relationship? Did you play a part in their romance? Did your paths cross in unexpected ways?
- One or Two Stories: Everyday moments, grand gestures. Polish these up to be intentional. How do they tie to the occasion and your theme (eg. examples of how they always showed unwavering support toward one another.).
- Acknowledge the Spouse: Dropping in compliments for the partner can emphasize why they’re a match. It helps concentrate on their union as a whole rather than a half, even if you only know one of them well.
- Cheers: You did it! Now applaud their courage to weather life’s storms together. Raise a glass and invite everyone to do the same.
How to Start a Best Man Speech
A greeting and a hearty congratulations kick things off. Here are a few prompts to start your best man speech.
- Intro: “It’s truly an honor to stand before you as [Partner’s Name]’s best man. My name is [Name], and I’ve had the privilege of being [Name]’s partner in crime since [college, childhood, etc.].”
- Embrace the Occasion: “On behalf of [Partner’s Name] and [Partner’s Name], I want to extend a warm welcome to all of you as we come together to celebrate this beautiful union.”
- Share a Quote: “As [Partner’s Name] and [Partner’s Name] embark on this exciting journey, I’m reminded of a quote by [Author] that says, ‘[Quote].’ And today, we’re here to witness the embodiment of that sentiment.”
Opening Line Ideas
After a “good evening” or a “hello,” here are a few transitions to get to the good stuff. Brainstorm with a written or verbal stream of consciousness to help identify your feelings. You can pare them down later.
- First Memory
- “I first witnessed their connection when…” / “I saw sparks flying during…”
- “If we were to start with the first chapter…” / “Let’s rewind the tapes to…” / “Let’s take a trip down memory lane to a time when…”
- Favorite Memory
- “As I stand here, I can’t help but think of a memory that always makes me tear up/smile…”
- “Of all the unforgettable moments I’ve shared with [Name], there’s one that stands out—”
- “If there’s one memory that never fails to bring a smile to my face/tears to my eyes, it’s the time…”
- First Impressions
- “When they first introduced me to [Partner’s Name], I saw that look. The one that says…”
- “When they first met [Partner’s Name], they couldn’t stop talking about…”
- “None of us could have anticipated…”
- Fate or Destiny
- “There’s a moment when you see two people together, and you can’t help but realize…”
- “I knew [Name]’s heart had found its home the moment I saw…”
- “Everything changed in their relationship when…”
- “I could tell they were ready to face the world as partners in life when…”
- Relationship Lessons
- “I can’t help but reflect on the beautiful journey that [Their Names] have taken together…”
- “Their love story has taught me that [qualities] are the foundation of a long-lasting partnership.”
- “Their relationship has taught me that love isn’t just a destination; it’s a journey filled with…”
How to End a Best Man Speech
Whether you give your best man speech at the wedding reception or rehearsal dinner, you can always end it with a toast. To finish on a positive, uplifting note, here are a few concluding thoughts for well wishes and looking ahead.
- “May your journey together be filled with endless love, laughter, and a lifetime of cherished memories.”
- “May your love story continue to inspire us all. Here’s to new beginnings.”
- “Let’s look forward to the adventures that await [Names]. We hope this will be the most beautiful chapter of your story together.”
- “May your journey be filled with a love that only grows stronger with time.”
Speech Tips: Do’s and Don’ts
There are standards for speaking at a ceremony. Here are the rules to live by when you want your best man speech to be unforgettable for the right reasons
- Do use notecards to feel prepared, calm the jitters, and remember all that you want to say (as long as you remain present and make eye contact). Don’t read from your phone, in case it locks in the moment, loses charge leading up to the speech, or the lighting affects photos.
- Do reference your ties to the couple. Nod to when and how you met but ultimately keep the focus on their relationship. Don’t make your best man speech about you. You were invited to share your perspective, so it’s a classy move to keep things relevant and selfless.
- Do share your unique insights. Your experience adds to the audience’s understanding of the couple as partners and as individuals. However, don’t be inappropriate. You might know the skeletons in their closet but skip anything they wouldn’t want shared or would warrant an apology — like their past relationships. It’s mostly to ensure your anecdotes would play well across any age, culture, or relationship context (grandparents, work friends, flower girl).
- Do speak from the heart. It’s sweet, sincere, and makes speech writing that much easier. But don’t force emotions. Whether it’s jokes or mushy stuff, if neither are in your wheelhouse, you don’t have to be anyone other than the person they invited.
- Do rehearse out loud at least two months in advance so you can practice tone, timing, and pacing. They can all aid your confidence. You might even run your speech by a friend or film yourself for feedback. And since it’s a big day for the couple, don’t wing it. With words at the ready, there will be less risk of feeling flustered or saying something cringe.
- Do take it seriously. It can still be lighthearted, but it’s a huge honor to be asked to speak at a wedding. Proof of some time and effort in your speech returns the thoughtful gesture (the same goes for limiting yourself to one drink beforehand). Don’t be nervous. Even if you’re afraid of public speaking or not usually one for getting sappy, try to see your best man speech as an exciting opportunity.
Example Prompt Ideas
Here are a few best man speech ideas to keep the atmosphere light and joyful while celebrating the couple’s uniqueness.
Simple
Nothing wrong with straightforward and authentic.
- Timeline: The couple’s love story from how they met to their engagement. Emphasize the nostalgic moments that made their relationship special. You can highlight their growth as a pair or as individuals — how they’ve changed since they’ve met, and/or what has stayed the same.
- Shared Interests: How their passions have brought them closer together and how they’ll continue to enjoy them in married life.
Funny
Depending on the formality of the guest list and the wedding venue (beach vs. church), you can loosen your black tie when it comes to humor. But you’ll want to be respectful and give the couple a heads up.
- Predictions: Playfully imagine scenarios for what the couple’s future might hold.
- Old Photos: A fun way to remind them how far they’ve come.
Quotes
Whether it’s from a role model in your lives (coach, relative, etc.), or an adage from another language, it’s common to borrow a bit of filler for your best man speech.
- Wisdom: Advice for a successful marriage based on experiences or observations. You can customize fortune cookies for laughs.
- Famous Words: Pull from any movies or authors with guiding tidbits, e.g., “Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.” “Love is not just something you feel, it’s something you do.” “Love is not about finding someone you can live with, but finding someone you can’t imagine living without.”
Best Man Speech Templates
For Friend
Memories of your time together through thick and thin, and how your friendship has remained constant.
“[Friend’s Name] and I have shared countless adventures over the years, and our friendship has survived every challenge, even [memory]. They’re the kind of friend who’s always there when you need them, whether it’s [example]. That’s why I know they’ll be an amazing partner to [Partner’s Name].”
For Younger Brother:
As an older sibling, look to your brother’s future. Talk about the exciting things that lie ahead: travels, career accomplishments, life milestones, etc. Share your pride.
“I can’t believe this day has finally arrived. It feels like just yesterday we were [childhood memory]. But as the years went by, I watched as my little brother met [Partner’s Name] and transformed into the incredible person they are today.”
For Older Brother:
Speak to how their support has shaped you, or what you learned by watching them face life’s challenges first.
“[Brother’s Name] has always been more than a brother to me. I’ve always looked up to [Brother’s Name] for [their characteristics], and now they’ve found a partner who [balances or complements these traits]. That’s why they’re perfect for each other.”
For Cousin:
Express your happiness for their partner joining your family traditions or how they’ve become an integral part of them.
“Growing up as cousins, [Cousin’s Name] and I had a bond beyond family ties. So when [Partner’s Name] came into the picture, I knew my cousin found their missing puzzle piece. I’m so excited for [Partner’s Name] to join our family vacations and holiday gatherings.”
For Dad:
Talk about the importance of togetherness; how the couple’s union represents two families merging to become one. Or offer tongue-in-cheek parental advice.
“My father has always been dedicated to family. He was always willing to go the extra mile for his loved ones. The love he shares with [Partner’s Name] is a testament to the trust and respect that you’ve instilled in our family.”
Final Thoughts
A best man speech is a rare chance to dig deep, get vulnerable, and tell those close to you how significant they are in your life. These prompts and templates can all get you started, but with the nuances of your relationship and theirs, you can make the tradition all your own. Best of luck!
