Start with Our Diamond Quiz
How to Write a Best Man Speech
Writing a best man speech requires planning and thoughtfulness. The most successful speeches balance humor with sincerity while keeping the focus on the couple.
First, begin by brainstorming your thoughts and feelings about the groom and your relationship with him. Consider meaningful moments you've shared, his positive qualities, and observations about his relationship with his partner. Don't worry about organization at this stage — simply get your thoughts on paper.
Next, create a structured outline that flows logically. A well-structured speech typically includes:
- Introduction: Who you are and your relationship to the groom
- Anecdotes about the groom: Meaningful or humorous stories that highlight his character
- How the couple met: A brief mention of their love story
- Comments about the spouse: Positive remarks about them and what they bring to the groom's life
- Observations about them as a couple: What makes them special together
- Toast: A heartfelt wish for their future
Once you have an outline, flesh out each section with specific details. Keep your language authentic to your speaking style — don't try to sound overly formal or use vocabulary that doesn't come naturally to you.
After completing your draft, practice reading it aloud several times. This will help you identify awkward phrasing and determine if the length is appropriate. Consider recording yourself or practicing in front of a trusted friend for feedback.
How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?
One of the most common questions about best man speeches concerns their ideal length. The general consensus among wedding experts is that the perfect best man speech should be between 3-5 minutes long — approximately 500-750 words when written out.
This duration strikes the ideal balance between being substantial enough to share meaningful content while remaining concise enough to hold everyone's attention. Speeches that run longer than 5 minutes risk losing the audience's interest, particularly during a reception when guests are eager to celebrate.
Remember that timing can vary when delivered. Pauses for laughter, emotional moments, or audience reactions can extend your actual speaking time. When practicing, aim for the lower end of the time range to accommodate these natural breaks.
How to Start a Best Man Speech
The opening of your speech is very important. It sets the tone and captures the audience's attention. An effective introduction accomplishes several goals:
- Introduces you to guests who may not know your connection to the groom
- Establishes your speaking style (whether humorous, heartfelt, or a mix of both)
- Creates interest in what you'll say next
Here are some opening lines to begin a best man speech:
- "Good evening, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm [Your Name], and I've had the privilege of being [Groom's Name]'s best friend for [number] years."
- "I'd like to begin by thanking [Groom's Name] and [Bride's Name] for allowing me to be part of this special day, and for trusting me not to embarrass them too much over the next few minutes."
- "When [Groom's Name] asked me to be his best man, I was both honored and terrified — honored to stand by my best friend on the most important day of his life, and terrified about having to follow that with a speech."
- "The first time I met [Groom's Name] was in [specific setting/year]. I never imagined that [number] years later, I'd be standing here as his best man."
Whichever opening line you choose, deliver it with confidence. Make eye contact with the audience, speak clearly, and smile — this helps establish an immediate connection and sets a positive tone for the rest of your speech.
How to End a Best Man Speech
Concluding your speech is just as important as starting it well. The closing should feel natural rather than abrupt and should culminate in a toast to the newlyweds. Good ways to end your best man speech include:
- "As you begin this journey together, I wish you a lifetime filled with the same love, laughter, and joy that you've shared with us today."
- "Having seen how you two complement each other in every way, I have no doubt that you'll continue to grow stronger together with each passing year."
- "I look forward to witnessing all the adventures and milestones that lie ahead for you both as you build your lives together."
- "Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in raising your glasses to the happy couple — may your marriage be blessed with love and prosperity for all the years to come."
When delivering the toast, be sure to:
- Raise your glass clearly so others can see the cue to join you
- Make eye contact with the couple
- Speak the toast with genuine feeling
- Take a sip after completing your toast
- Remain standing briefly to allow others to toast as well
Best Man Speech Examples
Example for Brother or Best Friend
"Good evening everyone. I'm [Your Name], and I've had the honor of being [Groom's Name]'s [relationship] since [time period]. We've been through everything together — from Little League to road trips across the country, from celebrating successes to helping each other through disappointments.
One thing I can tell you about [Groom's Name] is that he's the most loyal and genuine person I know. When he commits to something — whether it's a friendship, a goal, or now, a marriage — he gives it his whole heart.
[Bride's Name], I want to thank you for making [Groom’s Name] so incredibly happy. The way he lights up when he talks about you is something special. You've brought out the very best in him, and as his best friend, I couldn't ask for anything more.
To [Groom] and [Bride]: may your marriage be filled with adventure, joy, and unwavering support for one another. May you continue to be not just partners, but best friends. Everyone, please raise your glasses to the happy couple!"
Funny Example
"Good evening, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm [Your Name], [Groom's Name]'s best man and designated embarrassment coordinator for the evening.
[Groom] and I have known each other since [time period], where he demonstrated his excellent judgment by letting me copy his notes for Calculus. That excellent judgment clearly continued when he met [Bride].
Before meeting [Bride], [Groom] was the guy who could burn water while trying to boil it. Now, thanks to her influence, he can make... well, slightly less burned water. But seriously, the transformation I've seen in him since [Bride] came into his life has been remarkable. He's more confident, more thoughtful, and surprisingly capable of remembering to use a coaster.
[Bride], you've not only gotten yourself an amazing husband, but you've also saved the rest of us from having to listen to his terrible single-life stories. For that alone, we are eternally grateful.
All jokes aside, watching these two together has shown me what true partnership looks like. They support each other's dreams, laugh at each other's jokes (even the bad ones), and face life's challenges as a team.
Please join me in raising a glass to [Groom] and [Bride] — may your life together be filled with love, laughter, and properly cooked meals!"
Best Man Speech Tips
- Start Early: Begin writing your speech at least 3-4 weeks before the wedding to allow time for revisions.
- Keep It Balanced: Aim for a mix of humor, sentimentality, and sincerity. A speech that's all jokes or completely serious might not connect as well.
- Know Your Audience: Consider who will be present (grandparents, children, etc.) and ensure your content is appropriate for all listeners.
- Practice, But Don't Memorize: Rehearse your speech several times, but don't try to memorize it word-for-word. Speaking naturally with occasional glances at notes comes across more authentically.
- Mind Your Drinking: Limit alcohol consumption before your speech to ensure clear delivery.
- Stick to What You Know: Share personal insights about the groom based on your relationship, not secondhand stories.
- Include the Bride: Make meaningful comments about the bride and what makes her and the groom a great couple.
- Skip the Inside Jokes: Avoid references that only a few people will understand.
- Leave Out Ex-Relationships: Never mention former partners or dating history.
- End with a Clear Toast: Conclude with a definitive toast that signals the end of your speech.
Best Man Speech FAQ
Does the best man have to give a speech?
While traditionally expected, a best man is not absolutely required to give a speech. However, it's considered one of the primary responsibilities of the role. If public speaking causes extreme anxiety, discuss alternatives with the couple well before the wedding, such as a brief toast or having someone read remarks you've prepared.
What makes a good best man speech?
A good best man speech is authentic, appropriate, and thoughtfully crafted. It should celebrate the groom's character and his relationship with his new spouse. The best speeches balance humor with sincerity, avoid embarrassing stories, and focus on the couple's happiness and future together.
When do you give the best man speech?
The best man speech typically occurs during the wedding reception after the meal has been served and before or after the father of the bride's speech, depending on the couple's preference. The exact timing varies by culture and individual wedding plans, so always confirm with the couple or wedding planner.
Is two minutes too short for a best man speech?
While 3-5 minutes is the standard recommendation, a well-crafted two-minute speech can be perfectly appropriate and effective. Quality matters more than length. A concise, heartfelt speech is always preferable to a longer one that loses the audience's attention.
How do you structure a best man speech?
The classic structure includes:
- Introduction and who you are
- Your relationship with the groom
- A meaningful or humorous anecdote about the groom
- How the groom has changed (for the better) since meeting the bride
- Positive comments about the bride and their relationship
- Congratulations and well-wishes for their future
- A toast to the newlyweds
How long does it take to write a best man speech?
The writing process typically takes 2-4 hours spread over several weeks. This includes initial brainstorming, drafting, revising, and practicing. Starting at least 3-4 weeks before the wedding gives you time to refine your speech without last-minute pressure.
What is the purpose of a best man speech?
The purpose of a best man speech is to honor the groom, welcome the bride to the family or friend group, celebrate the couple's relationship, and offer well-wishes for their marriage. It serves as a personal tribute from someone who knows the groom well and supports the couple's union.
What should you say about the bride in a best man speech?
When speaking about the bride, focus on positive observations such as the happiness she brings to the groom, qualities you admire in her, how she complements the groom, and your pleasure in welcoming her to the family or friend circle. Always be respectful and sincere, avoiding any comments that could be misconstrued.
What are some common mistakes to avoid in a best man speech?
Common mistakes include:
- Mentioning ex-partners or past relationships
- Including inappropriate jokes or stories
- Speaking too long
- Focusing too much on yourself instead of the couple
- Using inside jokes that most guests won't understand
- Drinking too much before speaking
- Reading directly from notes without engaging the audience
- Rushing through delivery due to nervousness
Does a best man speech have to be funny?
No, a best man speech does not have to be funny. While humor can enhance a speech, sincerity and heartfelt sentiments are more important. Your speech should reflect your authentic relationship with the groom and your genuine feelings about the couple's marriage, whether that includes humor or not.
Remember that being authentic to your personality and relationship with the groom will result in the most memorable and meaningful speech. Focus on celebrating the couple and their love, and your speech will successfully fulfill its purpose — regardless of whether it includes jokes.
