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A Guy’s (Unbiased) Engagement Ring Buying Guide

A Guy's Guide to Engagement Rings So you are in the market for an engagement ring, or think you might be—congratulations!  Although we don’t know your girlfriend, we’re pretty certain she’ll be overjoyed when you ask her to marry you. Ideally she’ll also be giddy with excitement over the ring you’ve chosen, and that’s where we can help.

Yes, Brilliant Earth sells engagement rings but we are setting aside our interests to give you an unbiased “just the facts” guide to choosing an engagement ring that your future fiancé will love, and that will get you the most value for your money.  Here are the decisions ahead of you, and our tips on how to make them:

Choose a Gemstone: You know that the most classic engagement ring style features a center diamond, but you may not know whether your girlfriend craves that style or wants something more unique. We can tell you this: close to 90% of engagement rings feature a diamond, and sapphires are the second most common engagement ring gemstone. If your girlfriend’s taste runs to the unconventional, then she may prefer something other than a diamond or sapphire engagement ring—but based on the numbers, a diamond or sapphire is a very safe bet.

Diamonds and sapphires are also the hardest gemstones (Diamonds rank 10 and sapphires rank 9 on a 1-10 mineral grading scale called the Mohs scale of hardness) meaning that they’ll hold up well to the everyday wear required of engagement rings. Sapphires cost less than diamonds, so choosing a center sapphire allows you to get a bigger gem for your budget. Although you probably think of sapphires as being a deep blue, they also come in yellow, pink, and a variety of other colors.

Select a Gemstone Shape:  Diamonds are cut into ten standard shapes, and round is by far the most common choice, making up 75% of all diamond purchases. In part because they’re so popular, round diamonds cost more than other shapes. In fact, you can save up to 40% by choosing a non-round diamond. Some non-round shapes that are also very popular, but less pricey, are the princess cut (which is square) and the cushion cut (somewhere in between a round and a square, featuring softly tapered edges).

Choose a Precious Metal: The main choices for engagement ring metals are platinum, white gold, yellow gold, and rose gold. Platinum and white gold are the most popular choices. These two metals look very similar, but platinum is more durable and costs about 50% more. To get a sense of what type of precious metal your girlfriend would prefer, pay attention to the jewelry she currently wears.

Choose a Ring Style: Would she prefer something sleek and modern, or detailed and vintage in feel?  Dazzling with diamonds or more understated?  Selecting a setting and ring style may be the hardest part of buying an engagement ring. For guidance, think about the clothes she wears and the art and furniture she appreciates—that should give you some clues as to whether she’d prefer a ring that’s classic, modern, nature-inspired, glamorous, or some combination of those. To make the decision less stressful, we offer 30 day free returns, so if the style you choose doesn’t fit her vision you can always return or exchange it for one she’ll adore.

Consider Buying an Antique: If your girlfriend loves vintage jewelry, clothing, and décor, or if she’s a history buff or a lover of movies and books set in decades or centuries past, then she’d likely adore a vintage or antique engagement ring. Rings from earlier eras are often one-of-a-kind, and come with a sense of romantic history that many women love. As an added bonus, they generally cost less than a new ring of similar quality.

Consider Whether to Go Custom:  If you’re an artistic type or if it’s important to you to propose with a ring that’s completely unique, consider collaborating with a jewelry designer to create a custom engagement ring. To learn more about the process, read about The Pros and Cons of Designing a Custom Engagement Ring.

Decide on a Budget:  There is no hard and fast rule about how much you “should” spend on an engagement ring, other than that you should spend what feels comfortable for you. We can assist you in finding a diamond or other gemstone that balances size with quality at a price that works within your budget, and can tell you about lab-created diamonds, which can be a budget-friendly option. You can also consider a variety of payment options, including bank wire, layaway, and financing through GE Capital.

A Man's Guide to Engagement RingsFigure Out Her Ring Size:  Determining her ring size without asking is tricky, but not impossible. The most common women’s ring size is 6-6.5, and you want to err on the large side. You could sneak a ring from her jewelry box and take it to a jeweler to have it sized, or trace one of her rings on a piece of paper. For more strategies, check out How to Find Out Her Ring Size Without Her Knowing. Most rings can be resized, so check your jeweler’s resize policy.
 
Consider a Semi-Surprise: If you know you want to surprise your girlfriend with a ring when you propose, but are daunted by having to determine the right ring style and size, consider purchasing a diamond or other gemstone and having it set in a temporary ring setting. You can then have the gemstone re-set into a setting of her choice once you’re engaged. We let people have a gemstone set into our classic 18k Gold 2mm Comfort Fit ring, then return it within 60 days to have the gem re-set into a ring that’s the perfect style and size.

For more extensive education about how to buy an engagement ring, including what “the 4 Cs” of diamonds are all about, and how to find a ring that has been ethically sourced, consult our comprehensive Engagement Ring Guide.
 

Contact Us

Do you still have questions about purchasing an engagement ring?  Just contact us via phone or email, and we’d be happy to answer them.

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Comments:

Bill Says:
August 15th, 2014 at 7:46 pm

“more unique”

Impossible. “Unique” means “one of a kind”; it does not contain levels. Something is either unique or it isn’t. Difference can have levels, uniqueness cannot.

Don’t buy a diamond. Too many people dying for them.


Michelle Says:
August 16th, 2014 at 7:48 am

This is actually a really good article! Surprisingly unbiased, in my opinion. I’m a single lady, and don’t know what I was expecting, but I was pleasantly surprised.

For what it’s worth, my dream engagement ring someday would be an emerald cut diamond, either with a smaller emerald cut diamond on each side OR an emerald cut diamond in the middle with my birthstone on one side and his birthstone on the other. I would also love a vintage ring! Just putting that out there… :)


May Says:
August 29th, 2014 at 10:49 pm

I agree that this site is exceptionally thorough. It pretty much gets a guy through the whole process. The only problem a man with good taste would have would be not having access to a ring size. The article recommends go bigger. So if his girl isn’t petite, he could upsize from the average 6.5. Perhaps take it up to a 9 and do a resize if needed. The collections are really beautiful.


Bridget Says:
September 7th, 2014 at 11:31 am

Also, considering this article (http://www.businessinsider.com/pinterest-accidental-marriage-emails-2014-9) I’d say check her pinterest page. She’ll have lots of things she likes/ loves/ is interested in. It’s how I choose birthday/ christmas presents for my gal pals or even girl from work I don’t know so well.


Jessica Says:
October 8th, 2014 at 7:39 am

Please don’t go for something overly trendy. A few years ago, a guy friend bought his now-wife a heart-shaped diamond, with the rationale that “people replace their center diamonds after a few years anyway…” Bad choice, dude. It just seems weird to *plan* on replacing the main part of the symbol of your undying love. Right??

The ring is a symbol, nothing more, nothing less. The proposal is not the pinnacle of your relationship (hopefully…). You’re starting a life together, and that life is more important than the size/shape/setting/etc. that represents it. Put some thought into making a good choice, but remember that it’s (again, hopefully…) not going to change her answer if you pick something she doesn’t like. Also, as a woman with a gorgeous but modest-sized stone, go for quality over size. You can upgrade settings/add anniversary bands in the future, but you can’t change that cloudy 2-karat stone into one that’s brilliant.


ariel Says:
January 19th, 2015 at 5:46 pm

Generally speaking, the size of a woman’s shoe and the size of her ring are very close to the same. Same with glove sizes: I wear a 6 shoe, my ring size is barely over a 6, and I also wear a size 6 glove (although I don’t know if anyone wears gloves anymore…)


Kathy Tobacco Says:
January 20th, 2015 at 3:32 pm

I liked this article. I would add- be careful of any place that does in house financing. Some “jewelry stores” are credit operation ripoffs and diamonds are just the window dressing. Usually (not always) if there is no jeweler on the premises to size your ring or check the settings then it probably is a credit trap operation. If the salesman talks about financing more than he does about diamonds then it is probably a credit ripoff operation. Beware of any jewelry store in a mall too. The credit places are the worse place to buy a diamond. They can find more ways to rip you off than you can imagine. They will even try to sell you insurance. Don’t fall for it. Get your own financing through your credit union.

@Bill, “Unique” is a word that supposes a context for comparison. If you made 15 widgets and each was a different color each widget would be unique from the others in the set. If your neighbor mass produced the set and I bought a set, each widget would still be unique in my set. If you made one widget a different size and color and added it to your set then it would be “more unique” than the others. We are all unique- just like everyone else.


Emily Says:
January 26th, 2015 at 8:27 pm

In regards to the lady who said shoe sizes and rings are closely correlated: please do not take this advice! I wear a size 8 shoe and a size 4 ring! I’d try asking her mother :)


VEE Says:
January 28th, 2015 at 4:38 pm

I disagree with the tradition of the man picking the engagement ring.
The woman should pick the ring she wants, after discussing budget with her new fiance—if that is too uncomfortable, it isn’t time to consider marriage!

If finances are not an issue, propose within walking distance of jewelry shop, or even right in front of one.

OR consider forgoing an engagement ring, and put the money toward a better wedding ring or a deposit on a house.


Richard Says:
March 3rd, 2015 at 6:33 am

This is some good background info but as they suggest, you need to know the 4 C’s of diamond buying to be an informed buyer. As to knowing the ring size, if you have not bought another ring before the engagement you should do that first. Or if you are too cheap, borrow a ring she wears and a jeweler can match that size. Personally, I would make sure I knew at least something about what the woman wanted, like what kind of cut and maybe communicating on what size she expects. You can get hints by noticing other women’s rings and maybe getting some feedback. Or take her shopping for a saphirre or some earrings and kind of wander to the counter to look at some stones “just for fun.”


Courtney Says:
April 22nd, 2015 at 9:05 am

How about we get rid of engagement rings. What’s the point? They are just to get people to spend more money. Put the money towards your future, it will be a lot better spent.


Tony J Says:
April 23rd, 2015 at 7:42 am

Lets get this right; pay an exorbitant price for a rock so readily available, that every pawn shop in every city in every state has dozens of them. On average, every household world-wide has some, every jewelry store has them, eBay, and the like, has hundreds of thousands of them. And, oh yeah, there are still MILLIONS of them left to be dug up.

Why idiots continue to be brainwashed by this massive commercial campaign of misinformation escapes me! You are all lemmings who are incapable of critical thinking.


Seamus Says:
April 30th, 2015 at 11:09 am

Spend as much as you do on an engagement ring on your pre-nup. “Marriage is grand. Divorce is $100 Grand.”


DeDe Says:
May 4th, 2015 at 9:43 am

Since more than half of marriages end in divorce, that engagement ring will be long forgotten. A pre-nup is a good idea, many woman stay home after having kids. You have to have it spelled out who will take care of the bills while the kids are in college, who will get the house etc. Also, it’s better to go through a mediator than a lawyer. All these things should be decided before the ring goes on the finger. Since that love can turn to hate in 10, 15 years.


JaelynRae Says:
May 18th, 2015 at 4:12 pm

Personally I would much rather be presented a carefully thought out ring – based on my love taking the time to really get to know what I would/would not like – than being given a “temporary” setting or being told to pick my own ring. I will be honest if I absolutely hate it, but the odds are if he took the time to get to know what I would like, I would in turn love it just for that fact alone, even if it wasn’t quite what I had hoped for.

Finding what she likes is actually pretty easy, so long as they you attention. Recently engaged friends are a great way to scope out what she would like with a simple “I bet you spent the entire time checking out the ring, didn’t you?”, or “and even a simple “what did you think of her ring?”. This will inevitably prompt her to freely offer all the details you could ever want. You can also use a recent celeb engagement if you don’t have a recently engaged friend, even if you don’t follow that garbage, because anyone with an internet connection cannot help seeing news about it everywhere. You can even use your lack of interest to your advantage with something like “I cant even see my friends posts on FB because every other post is some viral story about _______’s engagement” as a means to casually bring it up. At which point, most females will at least mention the ring, or want to check it out if they somehow managed to escape seeing it, and will then mention it. I personally loathe celeb gossip, but if I hear of an engagement, I still love checking out the ring. I am not ashamed of my love of all things sparkly! If she doesn’t mention the ring, you can pull a typical guy move and make some comment like “I wonder how much that ring set him back”. Just be careful to not offer an opinion on the style of the ring in question, as you may inadvertently hurt her feelings if she absolutely loves a ring that you think is gaudy. If she feels that is the case, she may not be so forthcoming about what she actually likes.

Another thing to consider above and beyond size/style/metal that most do not really comment on it the height of the ring. I saw a ring on this site in the vintage rings that took my breath away, I loved it immediately. That is until I clicked on the side view. While it was breathtaking when viewed from above, I know that I could never personally wear it because the setting was way too tall for my preference/lifestyle.

Despite the suggestion to consider what she wears (clothing) or her lifestyle (hobbies/frequent activities), this do not necessarily match her dream ring style. I personally love highly detailed, vintage style rings, but in my daily life I am a stay at home mom and dress super casual – even jeans can feel like “dressing up” when I spend most days wearing yoga pants/fitted shirts. That doesn’t mean I don’t love delicate vintage dresses, but rather I simply don’t have the opportunity to wear them.

Shoe/ring sizes are most certainly NOT the same. I think that *might* work if the girl is very tiny/petite all over. I have huge feet (9.5) and a small ring finger (5). Also keep in mind that some might have small fingers but large knuckles, which would then require a larger ring to get it on. I actually have 2 identical wedding rings in 2 sizes (5 & 6.5) because my ring size fluctuates so badly in different temperatures.

For the rest calling for a pre-nup, I cannot help but feel sorry for your spouse. If you go into a marriage, expecting it might end, then it will. If you go into it with careful consideration and a mutual understanding from the very beginning that divorce is not an option, then it makes it much easier to work through the difficult times if such thoughts are not viable options. If you believe divorce is not an option, then you will unconsciously change your behaviors to fit that belief. Obviously that doesn’t apply if there is abuse or other unhealthy/dangerous behavior in the relationship, and even then, some of those can be corrected with mutual devotion, compassion, and therapy, and the marriage comes out of it even stronger for it.


Tony J Says:
June 22nd, 2015 at 10:59 am

Anyone who spends $.01 on a price controlled, extremely overvalued, shiny rock, that’s so prevalent (eBay, pawn shops, jewelry stores, craigslist, your and my home, & the billions of them still in the ground) then you are a complete and utter moron!

Stop being so mind controllingly stupid… Diamonds are worthless: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRGp0x8ZE8w


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