Proposing with the wrong ring
What’s a girl to do when her guy gets down on one knee with the wrong ring?
You’ve imagined the moment a million times. You’re gazing at each other while enjoying a romantic dinner and the perfect bottle of cab. You walk through the door of your apartment to find it filled front to back with roses and candles. It’s sunset and you’re back at that spot on the beach where you had your first kiss. You’re at the top of mountain you just climbed together, exhausted and exhilarated. Or maybe it doesn’t matter where you are, as long as it’s before your next birthday. You’ve watched it unfold, behind your closed eyelids, at those times you feel you could not possibly be luckier or more in love. A magical vacation, your roommate’s wedding, in the quiet space right before you fall asleep. Your perfect guy, your perfect pause in time and place, your perfect engagement story. Topped off, of course, by the perfect sparkling ring. You know just what it all looks like…but what if he doesn’t? What if, despite your best efforts and imaginings, your guy gets down on one knee with the wrong ring?
If this situation happens to you—and it can and does happen to the best of us—don’t panic. You have many options. Ultimately it is a very personal choice that needs to be treated delicately. You know yourself—and your partner—best. One approach is to live with what your fiancé selected. It may grow on you as he describes the care he took in the buying process. True traditionalists and quintessential romantics may not respond well to altering the ring they selected. Others may be perfectly comfortable with a change. Sixty percent of engagement rings are influenced by the female! So be honest with yourself, as you will be wearing this ring for the rest of your life. Perhaps he chose a plain solitaire inspired by the original Tiffany engagement ring, and your style is more contemporary. If it isn’t what you had envisioned, perhaps you could compromise and keep one aspect of the ring while making some changes to better suit your style and taste. At Brilliant Earth, we exchange gemstones and settings for any reason, no questions asked. We also offer a lifetime upgrade, should you decide to wait until a milestone anniversary to make any changes.
Not engaged yet? Embrace the chance to be proactive! If your partner is open to it, nudge him (gently) in the right direction by pointing out diamond shapes and settings that you like. He can even select a diamond or gemstone and put it in a temporary setting, and you can design the final piece together. Be as subtle or as obvious as your relationship can tolerate. And above all, be sensitive. Relationships and the rings that symbolize them are not one-style-fits-all.